Hello, my name is Kevin. I am starting this blog because I see a need for it. What is it about? It's about men who do not realize until late in life that they are homosexual or bisexual. It's ALSO about men who consider themselves "straight but bi curious," such as men who have been married a long time and have heterosexual relationships but also occasionally have sex with men. OR, if you are straight but have a family member who is gay and you have questions, this is a good place to start.Most people I know who are gay realize their sexuality sometime during puberty, which is what you'd expect. I, on the other hand, did not come to this realization until I was 40. As you can imagine, this was quite a shock to me. After trying to suppress these urges for about 3 years, I finally told my spouse that I was gay. This was extremely painful, but the right thing to do. We are now separated, but -- thank God -- remain good friends.
Over the past couple of years, I have searched for other men like me who are "late bloomers." I have only found one thus far: a friend in San Diego with whom I often correspond. He was married, too, but came to his realization only after his marriage had ended.
Yes, before you ask, I have been to a therapist. While this was consoling, the experience didn't really teach me anything I didn't know. I have been seeking a group of men in my area to talk to in a secure, safe, nonjudgmental environment, but haven't found one. SO, I am considering forming my own group (this is in the Lansing, Michigan, area, by the way). The purpose of this group is to provide a place where men can talk about their sexuality without being pressured to come out or participate overtly in the gay lifestyle in any way.
I have found that, while many gay men are still in the closet, the phenomenon of married men who are gay is even MORE underground. (Also, to participate in this group, you don't have to be married, but just someone who is, like me, a late bloomer.)
In the meantime, I would dearly love to talk to other guys like me about our experiences, thoughts, and feelings. I hope you will join me here.
Nice article. I didn't realize I was gay "late in life", but we have some similarities. I figured it out early in my thirties and then dove into the closet, not coming out until my fifties. Wish I had done it earlier, but all life is a choice. Thanksa for your comments. Larry
ReplyDeleteAlthough my friend and I played around with each other when we were in our early teens, we never thought of ourselves as gay. It wasn't until my late 40s after being married for many years that I was able to admit that I was gay.
ReplyDeleteI remained in the closet like most married men, but back in Feb of this year, my wife found out. It was extremely tense at home for several days then things settled down. We did alot of talking and she was finally able to accept me for who I really am. My daughter is ok with the fact that she has a gay father, but my son has yet to come around.
Hi, guys, thanks for commenting on my blog!
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog... I'm 50 and married 25 years with kids. I live with the secret. I had my first m2m experience 2 years ago. It was surreal! I'd love to share more and read more. Hope the blog is still active for us to share. Thank you!
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