Glad to hear from ya

Glad to hear from a couple of folks out there. Yes, it's quite a shock to realize you're gay late in life. I've tried to figure out why I was such a late bloomer. I came to the conclusion that much of it was due to my confusion of what it is to be gay. That might sound stupid, but hear me out.

For the longest time, I bought into the stereotype that gay men are all very feminine, often being cross dressers and drag queens. I was never attracted to people like that (cf. Sean Hayes in "Will and Grace"), so I thought I was straight. Like a lot of men, I liked to look at sex sites on the Internet (I was attracted to Rubinesque women), and some of their men lovers were burly guys, and this, through the magic of hyperlinking (LOL) eventually got me looking at bears and chubby gay sites. Well, lemme tell ya, wow! I was so turned on like never before. Soon, I met a guy and had my first experience with a guy (kissing, passionate petting). It was wonderful.

For a long time, I was very confused, though, and I tried to continue marital relations. But to get excited I needed Cialis, and, after a while, even that didn't work. I tried going to therapy, but all that did, really, was confirm that I was gay and there was no going back without living a lie. Things at home got more and more tense, as my wife didn't understand. Finally, I broke down and told her. We both cried, and it took many months before we finally separated.

That's where things stand now. More thoughts later. I appreciate the feedback!