Hello, my name is Kevin. I am starting this blog because I see a need for it. What is it about? It's about men who do not realize until late in life that they are homosexual or bisexual. It's ALSO about men who consider themselves "straight but bi curious," such as men who have been married a long time and have heterosexual relationships but also occasionally have sex with men. OR, if you are straight but have a family member who is gay and you have questions, this is a good place to start.Most people I know who are gay realize their sexuality sometime during puberty, which is what you'd expect. I, on the other hand, did not come to this realization until I was 40. As you can imagine, this was quite a shock to me. After trying to suppress these urges for about 3 years, I finally told my spouse that I was gay. This was extremely painful, but the right thing to do. We are now separated, but -- thank God -- remain good friends.
Over the past couple of years, I have searched for other men like me who are "late bloomers." I have only found one thus far: a friend in San Diego with whom I often correspond. He was married, too, but came to his realization only after his marriage had ended.
Yes, before you ask, I have been to a therapist. While this was consoling, the experience didn't really teach me anything I didn't know. I have been seeking a group of men in my area to talk to in a secure, safe, nonjudgmental environment, but haven't found one. SO, I am considering forming my own group (this is in the Lansing, Michigan, area, by the way). The purpose of this group is to provide a place where men can talk about their sexuality without being pressured to come out or participate overtly in the gay lifestyle in any way.
I have found that, while many gay men are still in the closet, the phenomenon of married men who are gay is even MORE underground. (Also, to participate in this group, you don't have to be married, but just someone who is, like me, a late bloomer.)
In the meantime, I would dearly love to talk to other guys like me about our experiences, thoughts, and feelings. I hope you will join me here.
